3 Tips to avoid location disappointment
The disappointment of an unexpected outcome is running very close to home this month. Which is sad to admit, but also not a feeling that isn’t felt by everyone at some point.
The official name is outcome-related disappointment and it is one of the most frequently experienced emotions following failure in people’s lives.
The term is liked more specifically to the nonfulfillment of a positive expectation and boy are we feeling this one as a family. The feeling of disappointment is not a new one to us like most will understand, but it is one that comes at a bigger shock and more disappointment than we were prepared for.
The reality of the situation is ours comes from a not so positive outcome (read as ‘shit sandwich’)induced by COVID. We are more fortunate than many in this particular sandwich, but the reality is, it’s disappointing, majorly disappointing how our actual outcome has totally missed the marked on the expected outcome.
The reasons we feel so disheartened by the situation is to do with the emotions we experienced in the planning, preparation and performance in the lead up.
As a close link to feelings of desire, disappointment as an emotion is affected the more ‘hope’ you have. Think of it like a mountain. In your head the higher the hopes the higher the mountain, if you reach the top and your hopes are not met by your expectations, the fall of disappointment is greater on the other side.
Disappointment is hardly ever experienced in isolation, previous studies have found a close relationship to other negative emotions such as sadness and anger. The intensity of these are in relation to whether you believe that something can be done to resurrect the goal.
In our case, maybe.
The Negative stuff
As mentioned, negative emotions such as sadness and anger have a close relationship to disappointment. But so do others, like frustration and regret. They are all believed to be linked because of their relationship with to decision making and choice.
They are also emotions that arise from thoughts like ‘what might have been’.
There’s a term for it – counterfactual thinking.
It’s when you mentally change one or more aspects of a past event. Including thoughts of your current reality changing to what might, could, would or should have been.
By mentally stimulating what happened and comparing it to what might have otherwise happened, you can come to an understanding of how the reality came about.
It’s meant to help you see if/how changing aspects of your own actions could impact on the desired outcome.
It has also been shown to have an impact on the emotional reaction to events.
Did you know: People are capable of reducing their performance to minimise the possibility of performing worse than expected and to avoid disappointment arising as a consequence.
What can you do when you experience disappointment?
- Don’t keep moving the goal post
Constantly moving the goal post once you achieved a goal can create a never ending cycle of perceived non achievement. Without celebrating the wins, you will never feel as if you are accomplished – creating disappointment in an outcome that was originally your goal.
2. Enjoy each moment as a new adventure
This is not a ‘be grateful for what you have’ point. It’s for the times when it does feel as though it’s not what you had hoped for. Invest in the moment and find what is good. Use it as an adventure, a new start, a different outlook. Some times the change in mindset can bring about positive change in the path forward.
3. Don’t forget your village
Even if moving away from your village, it’s important to stay in contact with them. The difference in mental state when you have your village supporting you is invaluable.
Previous studies have even shown that the probability of an outcome and the effort invested in attaining an outcome have am impact on the intensity of disappointment. So the more you want it and work for it, the more disappointed you will feel if it doesn’t happen.
Unfortunately the feeling of outcome-related disappointment is not reserved for one area of your life, it’s experienced in many aspects. Though there are many definitions of the word disappointment, there are clear features that all of them contain; the non achievement of an expected outcome.
Don’t experience mental health concerns on your own.